BUBBLEGUN'S SUMMER 2000 MOVIE PREVIEW
The stomach-churning stench of popcorn and hotdogs, the sticky carpets, the incessant chattering of foreign language students, the bip-bip-ba-blippa of mobile phones… this is what we've come to expect from the modern cinema-going experience. Nevertheless, go we continue to do, because films are really great, maaan. Hey now - here's part two of Bubblegun's round-up of this year's most hotly-tipped flick-me-dos.
This is either going to be this year's The Matrix, or this year's Wild Wild West (Battlefield Earth aside). Based upon the Marvel Comic of the same name, and featuring a mostly B-list cast (with the exception of Patrick Stewart and Ian
McKellan), it remains to be seen whether mainstream audiences will swallow the tale of mutant super-heroes battling anti-mutant prejudice. Bryan Singer directs a movie he describes as "More Usual Suspects than Batman". That is to say, "Usual Suspects with a naked blue woman, and a bloke with metal claws protruding from his knuckles".
OUT: August 14th
GONE IN 60 SECONDS
Going head-to-head with the mutants is the latest Nicholas Cage/Jerry Bruckheimer actioner. With little else of note coming out in August the pair could clean up at the box-office. The Rock and Con Air were both high-octane, in-your-face, and enjoyably stupid movies, and there's little to suggest Gone In 60 Seconds will be otherwise. Get this high concept, kids: a notorious car thief is hired to steal 50 cars in one night. Cue: some of the most over-the-top car-based movie mayhem yet. Cue: a mute Vinnie Jones as The Hard Man. Cue: pervy Angelina Jolie as the sauce. How can it fail?
OUT: August 14th
ME, MYSELF AND IRENE
Whether you hate Jim Carrey, or merely tolerate him, there's little arguing that his funniest movie to date was Dumb And Dumber. Teamed here, as he was with D&D, with the Farrelly Brothers, Me, Myself And Irene is a similarly taste-free effort, finding Carrey playing a comedy schizophrenic, battling himself for the affections of Rene Zellweger. Expect a toilet humour overdose, and Monty Python-style one-man wrestling bouts.
OUT: September 22nd.
The long-awaited follow-up to Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels finds director Guy Ritchie tackling the world of boxing Cockneys, and mixes it in with a typically convoluted diamond robbery plot. Star appeal comes in the shape of one Brad Pitt, with Ritchie favourite Vinnie Jones pretty much reprising his Lock, Stock… role. Meanwhile, British soap fans are more likely to be excited by the prospect of a cameo from Frank Butcher himself, Mr Mike Reid. "You doughnut!"
OUT: September 22nd.
THE HOLLOW MAN
A new Kevin Bacon movie is rarely something to get excited about, but this Paul Verhoeven-directed, $85 million special effects fest promises to be different. Your basic Invisible Man tale, this sci-fi thriller finds the titular hollow guy (Bacon) seeking revenge against the lovely Elisabeth Shue. Being a Paul Verhoeven movie, expect eye-popping, gore-drenched visuals. And nudity.
OUT: September 22nd
ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE
Though not quite the institution in the UK that it is in America, animated beaver/moose (wahey) team Rocky And Bullwinkle should nevertheless grab headlines come October. You see, the cartoon duo "acting" alongside real-life villains Robert De Niro and Rene Russo.
After Toy Story 2, the OTHER big computer-generated Disney event movie of the year,
Dinosaur threatens to out-dinosaur every other dinosaur movie ever, with more dinosaurs, doing more lifelike dinosaur stuff than any other dinosaurs ever. Except real ones. At $200 million, the most expensive Disney movie to date, it features an entirely-CGI cast of dinos, forced up against a backdrop of real-world locations. Plotwise, xpect the usual Disney mawkishness. It's a photo-realistic Land Before Time, basically.
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS
The poor man's Lord Of The Rings, Dungeons & Dragons must surely be the first movie ever to be based upon a role-playing game. Surely, though, appeal must be limited outside the real-life Russell Whos. Even so, you can never have too many orcs, man.
Samuel L. Jackson? Playing the nephew of THE classic Blaxploitation anti-hero? Opposite Christian Bale as a psychopath? To a soundtrack of 70s funk? Yes please, daddy!
With all the reports of on-set strife, it's anyone's guess whether this reportedly gun-free remake of the 70s TV show will be any good. But hell, did you see those pictures of Drew Barrymore in that wetsuit last week?!? Oh man!
THE GRINCH THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS
Doctor Seuss rocks. Too bad they got Jim Carrey to play the titular green bad guy.