SIT-COMS BASED UPON THE LIFE OF FRED WEST
10. The Madman's Family
9. Are You Being Harmed?
8. Gouge And Mildred
7. Man Behaving Madly
6. Dad's Barmy
5. Absolutely Stab-u-lous
4. Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
3. It Don't 'Alf Hurt Mum
2. Drop The Dead Daughter (In The Hole)
1. Only Fred And Corpses


Discover the Ultimate Streaming Music Recorder


Previous Result
GUYS ONLY POLL
Which of these characteristics are most important in a partner?

Good sense of humour 20%
Non-smoker 8%
Blonde hair 7%
Pierced nipples 13%
Must be able to make a noise like a dolphin 50%

total votes

812

Previous Result
GIRLS ONLY POLL
Which of these characteristics are most important in a partner?

Owns his own house

4%

High income 13%
Prehensile tail 20%
Convicted murder 15%
Lives in a piano 45%

total votes

344

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From the Bubblegun archives
The Long Probe


FISH
by Paul Rose

More

TERRY PRATCHETT
by Paul Rose

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NORMAN LOVETT
By Tony Gallimore

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STEPHEN LEWIS
by Tony Gallimore

More

TYLER MANE 
by Stuart Banks
More

JT WALSH
by Stuart Banks
More

WILLIAM B. DAVIS
by Stuart Banks
More

TONY TODD
By Stuart Banks
More











KNIFE & WIFE: THE TELLY-GANZA

So… Knife & Wife is going to be on the telly. That’s all a bit absurd, no? In case the news has somehow passed you by, this October Bubblegun’s most popular Fartoon is set to cough itself onto screens as part of Channel 4’s Comedy Lab series. 

PART 0NE
PART TWO
PART THREE

EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT EXTRACT:
TIM BURTON’S PLANET OF THE APES
Dated 4/3/2001, and attributed to Burton and producer Richard Zanuck, here’s an extract from the final scene of the film, that finally answers the question of how Burton intends to top THAT ending…
From the Bubblegun archives-  
BURTONESQUE
There are but a few idiots who wouldn’t describe director Tim Burton as a unique visionary. Whether applying himself to the gaudy kitsch of Mars Attacks, or the dark gothic of Batman and Sleepy Hollow, there’s no denying that Burton movies don’t look like other people’s movies.

SCHWARZENEGGER… OR “SHIT WANKER”?
THE FADING CULT OF ARNIE EXPLORED

Anyone who foolishly stumbled into the needlessly unpleasant End Of Days expecting Arnold Schwarzenegger to have re-established himself as the Number One Action Movie Star Of All Time, will now know that his career is all but shafted.
THREE OF THE BEST... 
BANDS THAT AREN’T AS GOOD AS THEY USED TO BE DESPITE SELLING MORE RECORDS THAN THEY USED TO

There’s a profoundly worrying trend emerging within the music market. There are certain bands - which would have once been labelled "Indie" bands (and still are by The Sun) - which are selling ridiculous amounts of records, despite their more recent work being considerably more rubbish than their early tunes.

THE X-FILES SPIN-OFF SPECIAL
The X-Files can thrive and prosper, its format flexible enough to be bent in any one of several directions. Observe now, as we present Bubblegun’s proposals for four potential X-Files spin-offs.
THE X-FILES
Exclusive script extract and 20 Things You Genuinely Didn’t Know About The X-Files...

SOMEONE Vs SOMEONE
Jason Vs Freddie, Aliens Vs Predator, Batman Vs Superman... all are genuine titles of films pitched to and by movie studio executives as dream team progressions of existing - albeit dormant - franchises. 

VILLAGE OF THE BANNED
THE MUSIC AUNTIE BEEB DIDN’T WANT YOU TO HEAR

Because society forever teeters on the brink of social, moral and political collapse, we, as the citizens of this society, cannot be trusted to think for ourselves.

STAR WARS EPISODE II: 
EXCLUSIVE ON-SET PHOTOGRAPHS

Last week the first ever image from Star Wars Episode II was published on the official Star Wars website. Bubblegun being great, we’re able to better even the official site, with a raft of exclusive images direct from the set of Episode I, supplied to us by our anonymous correspondent, Dave Ross. Here, in his own words, is an analysis of the images.

THE SIMPSONS
South Park can get stuffed; The Simpsons is not only the funniest animated show on TV, it’s the funniest TV show of all time, ever. Even during its dodgier seasons, the show is still one hundred times more amusing than any other TV show on or off the air. 

HOW TO HATE THE ENGLISH EVEN MORE
Everyone hates us English guys, and that’s OK. But nobody hates us more than Hollywood, and specifically actor Mel Gibson. The hunky action hero is back on movie screens to fight the wicked English once again, in Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich’s lush American Revolution tale, The Patriot. 

10 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT......
THE QUEEN MOTHER
The Nation’s Favourite Grandmother
, The Queen Mother, is 100 years young! Bubblegun wishes to join in the spirit of national rejoicing and thanksgiving for 100 years of this wonderful, very special old woman. Here are 10 Things You Genuinely Didn’t Know About Her…

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 3
We can all expect a Mission Impossible 3 sometime within the next five years. But what, daddy, should the plot be? Bubblegun suggests three possible storylines that truly live up to the “Mission: Impossible” designation…
EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK: STAR TREK - THE NEW SERIES!
Bubblegun can reveal the title of the new show, as well as the central cast of characters, and even present here a WORLD EXCLUSIVE extract from the script for the first episode of the new show. But first, boys and girl, meet the crew of...........

20 THINGS YOU GENUINELY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT........
CHICKEN RUN… AND CHICKENS
Here’s a whole bunch of stuff you genuinely didn’t know about Aardman, Chicken Run – and chickens! Cluck-me-do!
PICKING AT THE CORPSES:
WHERE POP STARS GO WHEN THEY DIE

It's a real big shame when pop stars die because, well, because pop stars are great. However, while it's a shame for us when our favourite recording artistes bite the bullet (often literally), it's an even bigger shame for their record company.

16 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT…
GLASTONBURY

The 2000 Glastonbury Festival kicks off this Friday. For those of you wisely choosing to stay at home, here are 16 things you genuinely didn’t know about the Glastonbury Festival…
13 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT… 
DURAN DURAN

No, we can barely believe that Duran Duran are still going, but the New Romantic "pioneers" are back this week with a new album, Pop Trash, and an even wider face for lead singer Simon Le Bon.

STAR WARS: EPISODE II - WORLD EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK!
Now, for the first time anywhere on the Internet, Bubblegun can bring you an EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK at Star Wars Episode II. Our spies have been busy infiltrating the production, and one has managed to get his hands on some of the pre-production artwork put together by Doug Chiang's Star Wars art department. 
BUBBLEGUN'S SUMMER 2000 MOVIE PREVIEW
PART TWO

Hey now - here's part two of Bubblegun's round-up of this year's most hotly-tipped flick-me-dos.

EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT EXTRACT:
THE X-FILES SEASON 8

Bubblegun has managed to get its hands on the shooting script for the first episode of The X-Files Season Eight. As you'll see, long-time fans can expect a few changes…
16 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT....
SCIENTOLOGY

We can confirm that Battlefield Earth is as bad as they say, although not so bad that it's worth seeing in a "so-bad-it's-good" sort of way. However, contrary to rumours, we failed to notice any subliminal messages pertaining to Scientology....


BUBBLEGUN'S SUMMER 2000 MOVIE PREVIEW - PART ONE
Summer's here and the time is right… for going to the pictures. Though British cinema-goers will have to wait even longer than usual for our summer blockbusters - Euro 2000 has delayed the release of the biggest films until July or later, see - the remainder of the year is shaping up to offer some fine cinematic nuggets.
13 Things You Genuinely Never Knew About.....
Barbara Cartland
The world's most successful author and true-to-form traditional 'British' lady, Barbara Cartland passed away on May 21st just weeks before her 99th birthday.

POP ACTS - WHEN MUSICIANS GO TO THE MOVIES
Oh, Mr Popstar… why you so horrible? We don't know why it is that popstars - nay, celebrities in general - think they can do anything, be it save the world from starvation, or landmines, or drug problems, or become artists, or authors, or pilots…
SEQUEL HELL
Hollywood executives are ruled by one thing and one thing alone: the almighty dollar. If someone, somewhere, hits upon a good idea that manages to make a profit, you can be sure as crikey that idea will be milked so hard that its teats will wither and blacken.

ET II
EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT EXTRACT
 
Bubblegun presents for you an exclusive extract of the long awaited ET II.

CASTAWAY 2000 – SPECIAL PREVIEW  
BBC1’s Castaway 2000 has been the TV highlight of the year.  Here are ten things we can expect from the next batch of episodes…  

14 Things You Genuinely Didn’t Know About...
The Eurovision Song Contest

Each year, our fine continent’s cultural trouts and tiddlers wriggle together to suck at the very Euroteat of Eurodiversity. They wear Euroshoes, drink Eurobooze, and then they sing some songs and invite each other to pick the least worst one.
15 Things You Genuinely Didn’t Know About....
Oliver Reed.
 

Oliver Reed died from a heart attack on May 2nd 1999 while – true to form - drinking with his wife and friends in a bar in Malta. A little over a year later, we’re finally getting the chance to witness Reed’s final acting role, as Maximus’ trainer, in Ridley Scott’s much anticipated Gladiator.

THE ART OF STAR WARS – A REVIEW  
"The Art Of Star Wars explores the work of the many creative artists involved in making the Star Wars films. In the beginning Star Wars was the dream of just one man: George Lucas......"

BILL GRUNDY vs THE SEX PISTOLS  
To those who were there at the time, it’s surprising how the once-shocking Punk Rock ethic now seems no more dangerous to today’s youths than David Essex seemed back in 1976.

20 THINGS YOU GENUINELY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT...
INDIANA JONES

Probably in preparation for the inevitable, though heavily delayed, Indiana Jones IV, the original Indiana Jones Trilogy – Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Temple Of Doom and The Last Crusade – has just been re-released worldwide as a three video box set.
20 THINGS YOU GENUINELY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT...
BATMAN

This summer just gone, Batman celebrated his sixtieth year as a comic book character, and his tenth year since returning to the cinemas in Tim Burton’s gothic Batman. 

ROCKASAURUS
MUSICAL DINOSAURS UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

Paul Weller. Once upon a time an angry young man, shaking his impotent fist at the blue faces of Tory oppression. Once upon a time leader of The Jam, the angriest young guitar band in Britain.

EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT EXTRACT: STAR WARS EPISODE II
Since we published our previous extract from George Lucas’s first draft screenplay for Star Wars Episode II, LucasFilm has been in turmoil.
Undaunted by the repeated threats from the LucasFilm legal department, Bubblegun is once again presenting an exclusive extract from that leaked first draft…

13 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT....
MARS
The space planet Mars has taken its punches over the years. Somehow, as far as Hollywood is concerned, it's never the little purple men from Saturn who invade Earth - it's always the green men from Mars.
BATMAN V: SCREENPLAY EXCLUSIVE
Bubblegun has managed to get hold of the Batman V screenplay, and at great personal risk, we present an extract her – it’s another Bubblegun exclusive!

10 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT....
DISNEY
Bubblegun has since been digging deep inside the bins of the Corporation itself, and discovered a 10 dark facts that Walt “Dis’nae” want you to know about.
BURTONESQUE
There are but a few idiots who wouldn’t describe director Tim Burton as a unique visionary. Whether applying himself to the gaudy kitsch of Mars Attacks, or the dark gothic of Batman and Sleepy Hollow, there’s no denying that Burton movies don’t look like other people’s movies.

STAR WARS: EPISODE II – THE CLONE GAMBIT
Risking the wrath of a lawsuit, Bubblegun cannot resist printing a brief extract from an early section of the script. Read on, children.
15 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT...
CHRIS MORRIS
Often imitated (mostly by skanks and piss-poor websites), but never bettered, Chris Morris is arguably one of Britain’s finest comic talents, and a national treasure.

TOMB RAIDER:
THE SCREENPLAY

Here, for the first time anywhere, Bubblegun can present an exclusive extract of the screenplay.  
30 THINGS YOU GENUINELY NEVER KNEW ABOUT...
 JOHN CLEESE

This year marks the 20th anniversary of what unquestionably remains the funniest situation comedy of all time, Fawlty Towers.

CAPE FEAR
There’s a lot resting on summer’s The X-Men movie. Adapted from Marvel Comics’ biggest-selling range of titles, if it proves successful the cape-waving heroes could pave the way for countless other funny book-to-big screen adaptations.
CASTING COUCH - DOCTOR WHO
Shockingly, there may be people reading Bubblegun who have never heard of Doctor Who. For the curiously ignorant, Doctor Who ran for almost 30 years, making it the longest-running science fiction show in the world.
   

 

 

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